


Meow-Nifesto

by creatureofhobbit



Category: Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c., Real Cat Fiction - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25056637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatureofhobbit/pseuds/creatureofhobbit
Summary: Larry, Palmerston and Gladstone plan to take over the running of the UK.
Kudos: 5
Collections: What If? AU Challenge





	Meow-Nifesto

Larry the Cat yawned and stretched as the journalist launched into a speech outside Downing Street. Apparently, public opinion was turning against his most recent housemate, Boris Johnson, and the way he had handled the coronavirus pandemic. Some were speculating that Johnson may be out of the job by Christmas, and although Larry knew that realistically he shouldn’t get his hopes up, bearing in mind he had a large enough majority that he could probably fend off a vote of no confidence and also there was no general election due in the immediate future, he found himself wondering just for one moment what things could be like if he had a housemate who he actually liked, who had a clue about how to run the country. Or even better, what things would be like if he and his fellow cats could take over…

Larry the Cat’s Meow-Nifesto:

• The people of the United Kingdom have made their feelings clear that they no longer have confidence in the government of Boris Johnson to run the country. Therefore, effective immediately, Larry the Cat is elected Prime Minister. Johnson has been ordered to vacate the premises of 10 Downing Street by the end of the day.  
• Gladstone the Treasury Mog will be taking over from Rishi Sunak as Chancellor of the Exchequer. He hereby declares all cat food to be free of charge.  
• Napping in the House of Commons is allowed once more, however this privilege is extended only to real moggies, not Jacob Rees-Moggy.  
• All special advisers from this day forward must be feline. Dominic Cummings has been barred from Downing Street with immediate effect.  
• All government departments will now be run by their own cat.  
• One cat to be sat between all MPs at all times in order to maintain distancing. (Added by Gladstone: And mandatory cleaning for each cat once each session of Parliament is over, because we will need it! Added by Palmerston: We’re cats. We do that as a matter of course anyway. But making it legal is good)  
• Palmerston the Cat will be taking over the running of the Foreign Office. He will also act as Prime Minister in the event that Larry become incapacitated.  
• All paperwork relating to any versions of a Brexit deal, or to Priti Patel’s immigration bill, will henceforth be used as the contents of the litter trays of Larry, Palmerston and Gladstone. We will begin our new negotiations which will include pet passports as a matter of course.  
• All doors in the House of Commons to come complete with cat flap.

Of course, Larry knew that even though the British people would probably now prefer the cat government, the chances were that even if somehow Johnson was removed from office, the chances were he was only going to be replaced by some other Tory idiot. But he still liked to imagine how things could be if he and his fellow cats were given the opportunity to take over.


End file.
